Protected: Thankful

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Protected: At The Crossroads

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Possible Reunion

The miracles of Facebook , I found a long lost friend who I haven’t seen or talk to in over 6 years. We drift apart for different reasons and hopefully I am able to rekindle a friendship with her. She is someone who I hold important in my life and hopefully I can tell her how much she means to me and her family. Maybe I can rekindle a lost piece of my life that needs to be repair. Hopefully I can and will….hopefully this Friday, I will find out.

I’m outz,

C

 

Friendships – Ending of One & Renewal of Another

Funny how in a span of a week, I ended a friendship to an acquaintance who crossed the line and renewed a friendship (albeit slowly) a friend who I kept my distance from due to the negativity of their strained relationship.

One friendship was a casual friend who I have met a few years back and he was a cool guy. We enjoyed hanging out and we exchange emails. We rarely contact and suddenly a few weeks back started to talking to me again. We caught up and started talking to via chat programs. Then suddenly yesterday, my supposedly straight guy friend asked me about my relationship with M and proceeded to ask me if I would make a better choice of a boyfriend for me that he will treat me better than M. WAIT A MINUTE, this guy is a like classic Asian frat guy asking me if he would be better for me?!? How did this happen? So basically he was “curious” to being with a guy and wanted me to be his first guy…..HELL NO…..(though honestly, in the back of my mind, who didn’t want to convert a straight guy over?!?!?….) The worst part that he continue to pursue me after I said no! So I told him that we’re not talking any more and blocked all chat programs. It’s was just too weird for me and more than once I thought he was bipolar.

Another old friend of mines tonight gotten in touch with me to see if I would be her model again for her photo project I done with her 3 years ago. The immediate reaction was: “should I?….probably not” This is an old good friend who I kept my distance due to the constants fights between her and husband with me getting in caught of the middle of it more than once. Then a few years ago I said “enough” and just decided to keep my distance and not go to any of the events that they invited me to. I really didn’t need that negativity in my life. Then, tonight after talking a bit and with her addressing the issue that strained our relationship (which I didn’t bring up) and with her apologizing for all the fights that she put me and another dear friend through. It was only then, I felt that she sincerely meant it and we decided to make a point to meet up again early next month and go from there and finally introduce them to M. I don’t know what to expect and where we can go from there, but all I can say is one step at a time. Only when I see with my own eyes if they have changed. After all it has been 3 years. I am a different person from 3 years ago. I have changed…maybe so did they. We shall see.

I’m outz,

C

 

Overcharging – 6 month Anniversary.

This past weekend was full of ups and downs and I mean that in the literally sense. This weekend I spent time with a couple of my friends hiking the lovely but difficult Dipsea Trial in Muir Woods which is about a half hour drive north of San Francisco. That weather granted us a beautiful clear spring morning to get our start hike and we huff and puff down around 8 miles (roundtrip mind you) of this serene trail and enjoying each other companies. We stop off for a quick brunch and turn around and enjoy hiking back to the car. I also met with H and L to watch the Chinese New Year parade and had a quick bite of dinner at this place. After all that fun. I was one totally tired out guy.

Today is also the 6 month anniversary of me and M together. It been 6 most special month with a guy ever in my life. I couldn’t believe that one man can have made me so happy and content with life. He totally loves me 110% and the feeling are just as equally strong in return. In less than two months we are moving in together as a couple and a new chapter of my life will be starting. I’m scared of that new chapter for fears of losing my independence but I am willing to take that risk and see where it goes. Only time will tell.

I’m outz,

C

 

Valentine’s Day – Minority Report

Recently I came back from Dallas to spend a early V-Day together. It was actually my very first Valentines I ever had in my life. Yes after 28 years on this earth, I finally have a guy in my life that I actually could have done a Valentines for. So I gave M a theme of chocolates for him. I got him some specially made M&Ms that you can order from online in which you can personalized it, I also got him some fine dark chocolate box and a chocolate / espresso color dress shirt. He got me a teddy bear, a rose, chocolate from my favorite chocolatier and a shirt. All very nice and we had a great Valentine day together.

Dallas is a city in which I don’t think too highly of. Too spread out, too many superficial people with fake attitudes and the food was okay. I did Texasian / TexJapanese food and I can safely say. That is the worst set of Fusion food I ever tasted. It wasn’t worth the price M had to pay for it. But the Tex-Mex I had there was pretty good so that made up for it. Oh and the only touristy thing I did is saw where John F. Kennedy got assainated. Whoop! But the thing I notice the most about the most is how little minorities was around. With me growing up in San Francisco most of my life and knowing what diversity is like. I felt like a fish out of water in Dallas. I felt mostly uncomfortable being in that type of situation and just made me more apperciative of what I have in San Francisco. Lucky me.

I’m outz,

C

 

The Ghetto 108

As some of you know, I have left the nest. Suprising I am doing quite well, maybe because I have been so independent. I live in a great apartment with one of my roommates and an ex roommate at the moment. (Long story with that part will have to write about some other time), I really do love where I live but the bus ride home at times can be too much.

Honestly I never knew what ghetto truly was until I started living here and dealing with the bus ride home at night. The bus ride at home is about 20% professional people, normal people (families) and art students, we are the ones with the gorgeous views of SF and running trails and the quietness; the other 80% are people who live in Section 8 low income housing and people who are in the Job Corp. Basically the people in the Job Corps are also mostly low income people with absolutely no social graces and need to be in the Job Corps to get at least even the most basic jobs in the city. They are actually a bit better than the people who live in the low income housing, since there is only one bus going to and from the island, we all have to take the bus together. Which turn into a huge social and class experiment.

The front part of the bus is usually the people who live on the nice side of the island. Over 75% of us have our earphones on because the back of the bus is where the ghetto people will sit. They will talk really loud and occasionally a scuffle will break out. The front part of the bus will take no notice of it while the back part would be rooting them on. This will last for about 12 mins until we reach to the “ghetto” side of the island in a flash over 70% of the bus will disappear and we will continue on our route. This is the usual scenario that happens about 65% of the time. I am used to it but for people who don’t know about how the island is like. They will be in shock……

I can’t wait until I can take cabs home from work.

On the funner end. I am going to Texas…Dallas, Texas. I am going to visit M for a early Valentine visit since V-day falls on a Wednesday and I can’t go next weekend because of my cousin’s wedding banquet and Chinese New Year. Will report back my experience of Texas next week. I think there might be a mechanical bull involved. *wink*

See you guys next week!

I’m outz,

C

 

Weekend Hike & Anniversary

So this weekend was a very fun albeit very tiring with the long hike that we did on Mt. Tamalpais last Saturday with H and some of my close friends. This hike was a fun one with a lot of ups and downs, gradual inclines and steep ones as well. But we were rewards with great weather and clear skies, making this hike an easy one to do. It was also one of my friend’s son second hike with his family and we were forunate to be his chaperone to this hike.

All in all, good times, great excerise and the new found motivation to get myself back on course to start running again and back into training.

On a side note, today was my 5 month anniversary with M, it is very hard to be away from a guy who goes out of his way to make you happy. I am very forunate to have found such a great mate who I can see myself being with for a very long time. Only time will time but to M: I do love you very much and thank you for being you. Thanks for all the smiles and your goofy ass remarks. Thank you for letting me be me.

I’m outz,

C

 

Limiting Access To Me

I told M that I have start blogging again but I also told him that I won’t probably want him reading my blog. The reasoning behind it is that this is my place for clearing out thoughts and putting my thoughts into writing. Some of these thoughts will include M a lot but since is where I am going to put these thoughts down. I wanted to freedom to write out my feelings in one place, having him reading this will not let me write out my thoughts to its fullest potential. After discussing this with him, he was supportive of my decision and will respect my wishes. It makes me thankful that M can be so understanding of my space and what I wanted to keep private. It’s one of the many reasons why I fell in love with him.

Work, these days have been extremely busy. Sometimes I wish I can limited the access of certain secretaries to me. But towards the end of the day, one of the secretaries I work with on the limited basis said the nicest thing to me to lift my spirits. She told me that while other might not apperciate who I am sometimes, that I was a very good person and don’t let these people pull you down. They do apperciate for all I do and thank me and it is nice to hear it once in a while. It brings me back into focus and ready to tackle the rest of this week head on.

I’m outz,

C